It’s been a while since I updated you… mostly because I’m finding it difficult to know where I am.  I don’t know if I’m waiting for something to finish or something to begin but I feel lost.  It’s difficult to explain and I’ve thought long and hard about it and found no answers.. yet.  Bear with me.  I am desperate to move forward but not sure where I want to go or what to do.  I KNOW that I want to get the conference on the go but am struggling to find a way to finance it (my time) and create the time to plan it properly..  I know that I want to get back to a social life that I’ve had before, to go to the theatre, opera, dinner, drinks, parties etc etc.. I know that I want to live in my own home again and to be surrounded by my possessions… I know that I want to be able to live for a single day without worrying about the cancer returning.. I know that I want a pain free day… I know that I want to feel confident and comfortable with my new body shape and image… I know that I want to stop crying… I know so much but don’t know how to get there or who to ask for help…  I did however read an article to day that helped me realise that I’m not alone…Living Beyond Breast Cancer… I’m OK and I know that I need to go through this to become a better fulfilled and happy person but it’s hard…

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