My world of blogging began for a reason that I’d never wish on anyone. I gave cancer a try for you all. I gave it a go. Felt it’s pain. Learned to deal with the emotions. Cried about it. Had it cut from me (twice). And so much more… And I decided that it was rubbish and I didn’t want it. So, I put it all back in the box, neatly packed it with those squigy polystyrene questionmarks and stuck a whole roll of packing tape around the box, so that nothing can escape… I then popped it into the letterbox marked ‘return to sender’! (with no return address for me!).
So just so you know, noone else needs to try it out, it’s rubbish, don’t bother.
Part of the journey for me was finding a way to communicate with friends and family about how I felt or what was happening that day or how an appointment or a surgery went. As much as I love you all, receiving call after call and recounting the story wasn’t going to help me look forward and beyond whatever the issue was that day. Some people do this via facebook, some set up phone call trees so that everyone calls someone with an update but the person at the top only has to make a few calls. And some blog. What has been fantastic about this is that sometime when you didn’t know what to say or how to ask, you could just check in on the site and every now and then let me know you were doing so. For me, it allowed me to tell you a lot more than I would face to face. To perhaps put on ‘paper’ something that I wouldn’t know how to say. I’ve also bumbled away, typing endless pages as a sort of ‘download’ mechanism for me, only to delete it before the page goes live. It was cathartic for me but also allowed me to have a history/diary of events and somewhere to which I can refer and for newly diagnosed to reference. I have been heartened that my site continues to support people looking for information about phyllodes but also saddened that it’s required. I’ve had 3 people contact me from the UK in the past 4 days – hmmm me thinks it’s not as rare as they’d have us believe!
However at this point in my journey, I realise that you won’t be checking in so often to see how I am – because I’m OK, in fact I’m feeling really good about cancer knowing that I don’t have any more checks, scans or hospital appointments until January… somehow it’s released a little burden from my shoulders – but I would like to keep the blog up. Perhaps not daily or weekly even but with updates regarding my journey but also with information and ‘life after cancer’ entries. You see even though physically I feel OK, there are still the oddest of things and emotions that smack me in the face at random times. Or I’m asked for help or advise that I think should be shared as a different perspective is always refreshing.
I would also like to keep you up to date with my new exciting charity venture –Living Beyond Diagnosis. I truly hope that through this charity, I will be able to help thousands of people affected by cancer in the coming years. My aim is to work with charities, hospitals and support organisations so that these events are firmly placed on the calender and complement the surgical and medical aspects of managing cancer in the UK. I’ll keep you posted.