Time

I’ve been conscious that I’ve still so much to sort and organise relating to Mum’s estate and possessions, not helped that I live in a small country cottage which is now creaking at the seams with boxes and paperwork. So my job this weekend is to get things organised. Sorry BigI for cancelling weekend plans at short notice but it’s been getting me down a bit as I want to move forward and feel that I’m being pulled back.

I also needed time to reflect on all that I learnt last weekend and all that it taught me. I’ve also been reminded that I don’t have Mum around to tell about last weekend.. I just know she’d have been excited that I’m going to put together a conference for the UK and Europe – in fact I know she’d have her address books out and probably have already made some calls before I’d even finished telling her about my plans! Miss you Mum.

I’m still absolutely driven that we need one of these Conferences in the UK and available to our friends in Europe… so here goes… if you’re willing to help, in anyway, please contact me, cos this is GOING to happen.

Follow up appointments

As you know I’ve been wondering when I’ll get my appointment through for my first 12 week check. Every whinge and pain reminds me that I’m waiting and me, being me, pushes it to the back of my mind with a ‘it’s just the breast tissue memory and scar healing’ – but even if it is, I’d like to know for sure.

So I called the hospital to find out when the 12 weeks runs from; my scans, surgery No. 1, surgery No. 2? The team I spoke to didn’t know the answer but did confirm that I had an appointment in the diary for 21st April. I’m not sure why I haven’t received any notification though but I guess that’ll mean that they take the 12 weeks from the surgical follow up appointment.

About 10 minutes after I hung up from my hospital call, my GP called me. I know I’ve told you before that I have the best GP in the whole world… I really do! He said he knew what my medical notes said but he wanted to check how I was doing in myself. How I’m coping. What an angel.

Strange though that he should call when I’ve been anxious about my hospital appointment…

Reflections

So what did I learn?

  • As a cancer patient or as a cancer survivor, I’m not alone, unless I want to be.
  • I AM in control of my life, my health and my future.
  • If I need help or support, for any reason and at any time, I should ask for it.
  • Support and help can be found in the oddest of places – open your eyes
  • Laugh… often.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • I’ll never be the same person I was before cancer but that’s something to be proud of and to embrace.
  • Use everything in life for good.  Learn from it, share with others and believe that it’s all for a reason and better purpose.
  • What I look like on the outside does NOT reflect who I am on the inside.
  • When I meet someone to share my life with, I’ll be ready to share my scars.
  • I share my experiences with some truly wonderful people and I’m honoured to do so.
  • Live every day, every hour, every minute and every second.

And did attending the Conference answer my questions that I had before attending?

  • How to realise I have a future and not just plan for the now.
  • How to feel comfortable with my new body image and feel that although I look different and am scarred that I can accept the new me… and maybe one day be able to be OK with a new partner seeing me too.
  • How to use my experiences to help others without dwelling on my personal issues.
  • How to eat better and be healthier and use natural foods to manage and keep cancer away.
  • How to be an inspiration to others both in my attitude, outgoing and learnings.

Hell yeah!  Thank you to each and every one of you who helped me get there and support my insane need to travel so far for answers.  Financially, emotionally or physically.  Love you all. xxx

Remember: I’m a person living with cancer NOT dying from it.


Last day of Conference and I want to max out on information

8am – Yoga – Yes you did read that right.. I was up and out and in a yoga class for an 8am start!  Along with about 50 other people from the Conference.  The little room was packed and as we stretched and posed we all became very close friends!  

9am – Quick shower and down to the exhibitors hall to grab a cup of coffee before the next workshop.  The other girls were leaving at 11am to fly back to their destinations  and headed out with Jen to get some breakfast.  Although some of the ladies were a little worse for wear and hadn’t yet made it out of bed after their 6am finish time in the karaoke bar.  You know some people might frown upon partying hard at the conference, but for a lot of attendees they can really let their hair down (or take off their wigs) and just be themselves, laugh at themselves, at our situation and be amongst friends.  That kinship is more important, sometimes, than anything else and the conference is a way to network with people who are travelling this journey with you.

10am – Workshop Session Four – Body Image: Breaking Through the Mirror – Lillie D Shockney, RN, BS, MAS

I don’t need to tell you why I wanted to attend this workshop!

Lillie Shockney was an awesome speaker, within minutes she had us all thinking, crying or laughing… or for some, all three and it just made sense… so forgive me if I repeat bits and pieces but I think it may help others too.  She is a breast cancer survivor herself but was involved as a breast cancer nurse before diagnosis.  She has many tales about people and situations that shock and then bring you into fits of laughter as she tells of prosthetics popping out on golf courses and board rooms.  I can understand why she is involved in so many educational projects in the US and overseas.

Lillie Shockney is also involved in a project in the Arabia regarding education and medicine for young women.  The average age of diagnosis is only 34 and usually death within one year of diagnosis.  Scary stuff and it’s no surprise that breast cancer is referred to as ‘Death Fate’.

How we see ourselves is often very different to how we perceive others see us.  Think about it some more…

When we hear those four little words “You have breast cancer”, we instantly are fearful. We’re fearful of losing our lives, of losing a breast (part of whole), of losing hair and also of losing our mate, of gaining weight, losing libido, depression, preoccupation of fear of recurrence and needing to find our ‘new normal’.  And it all happens so quickly.

She said that she urges women to seek solace in humour through the rough stuff.  To label the surgery ‘transformation surgery’ as it really is and does transform your body and mind. 

Celebrate that you go from being a breast cancer patient/victim to a breast cancer survivor.  Doesn’t that sound better?

Ms Shockney also mentioned that she’d known cases where survivors experienced pain or phantom limb sensation after surgery to remove the breast – but she said that with some survivors they’d been able to find a spot on the body that meant the sensation disappeared!

Redefine your intimacy, talk it all through with your partner and ensure that they are part of the process.  Often when we’re unable to be sexually close, simply holding hands conveys what you’re feeling.

Partners often become owner occupiers for a while…

Oh and if you’re having chemo, organise a little party with your closest friends and have a coming out party for your hair before you start.

I think for the most part, for me, this workshop smacked me in the face and told me not to worry about it all so much.  When I meet the right person, it won’t matter.  Should I need further surgery or treatment, learn to laugh at the little stuff and the big laughs will follow. Find humour in the hardest of times.  And rather than feeling that any change is a bad change, embrace the new chapter of my life and use the learnings.

11.45am – Don’t go – Sadly the time had come that some of Team Phyllodes had to head off to get flights home.  I rushed up to the lobby after the workshop to find them all there, long faces (and a few hangovers).  I was sooo sorry to see the first go, particularly Trish.  She was the first person who retrieved me from cyberspace when I was searching for answers and someone, anyone, to talk to.  The difference this made to me, my discovery, my recovery and now… I can’t put into words.  The relief to know that I wasn’t alone and I could ask questions and she quickly put a shout-out for other Phyllodes survivors to friend me and I really felt that having felt so alone I suddenly had sisters out there who could pick me up and lend me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it.  Since then I’ve tried hard to ensure that no one feels alone with this ‘rare’ illness – we’re not THAT rare (but we are of course, unique!)!  So having this opportunity to meet and hug Trish and some of the others from cyberspace was something I will cherish forever.

12.15 – Closing Plenary: Resigning as General Manager of the Universe: Taking Control of your Own Health and Life – Kim Carlos     

Kim opened her speech with words that resonated loudly with me:

“When you hear these four words “You have breast cancer”, you instantly feel alone.  But I’ve learnt that I’m NOT”

She told of her story, of how she now uses every experience and learning to ensure that at the very least the message to women AND men, gets round, check your breasts. Don’t leave it to chance, you are your own medic… and remember that ALL the people at the conference were told at some stage ‘don’t worry, you’re too young to have breast cancer’… ooooh how wrong they are!  In the UK we are lucky to get mammograms at 40, in the US they don’t get mammograms until they’re 50 and everyone at the conference was under 45 years of age! 

She went on to tell of her journey with her new friends, of times they laughed, times they cried and times that should probably be confined to the conference… but you can read about it in their book “Nordies’ at Noon” http://www.nordiesatnoon.com/authors.html

Like so many of the speakers, survivors and hosts, Kim was keen to learn from her experiences and to use this for something better (and also to get away with a few things too) and Kim’s top 10 were:

10.  I could say NO to the things I didn’t want to do and not feel guilty.

9.   I could have a messy house and it was OK.

8.   It was easier to raise money for good causes… a bald head helps!

7.   No shaving, no razors, no waxing, no in-growing hairs etc.

6.   Had a tummy tuck as part of her reconstruction surgery.

5.   Got a new boob and a breast lift… for free!

4.   Meals bought to her by friends and family which meant no cooking.

3.   There was no such thing as a bad hair day.

2.   Anything that didn’t quite go right, she could blame on “chemo brain”.

1.   It made Kim realise the wonderful gift of life and made her cherish family, friends and life.

Kim’s recipe for survivorship

S – Support & Survivors and co-survivors.

U – Uncertainty that you will fill your life.

R – Resigning as general manager of the universe.  You don’t have to be in control.  You don’t have to be one that everyone comes to.  Take care of yourself and let others take care of the universe.  You can ask for help and you can accept the help given/offered.

V – Venture.  Take a risk.  Do something you’d otherwise never give a go.  You can never fail, just learn and experience.  You never regret something you did, just those things you didn’t do.

I – Information.  What do you do with all the information and learnings you’ve got from this experience.  Use them.  Empower yourself, do something with it, use it!  Become an advocate.  “Be an active participant in your care”.

V – Valuing each and every day.  (What are the things in YOUR life that you value?  Do them).

O – Optimism. 

R – Refusing to give up.  And SURVIVING and THRIVING.

12:45 – 10th Anniversary Cupcake Celebration and Closing Remarks from LBBC and YSC

As the Conference closed I was incredibly aware of the amount of information, companionship and warmth that I had gained from the weekend… Somehow I was going to be thankful for the cosy atmosphere of the BA flight home to think through what it’s meant to me.

1:30 – After more sad goodbyes in the lobby, Jen and I headed out into the chilly Atlanta sunshine and were whisked off to Sue’s house for an American brunch.  Yummy pancakes, bacon, strawberries, maple syrup, eggs etc.  Awesome meal and fun walk in the afternoon with Sue, Paul, Jen and Sue’s children before Paul drove me to the airport and my long flight home. 

There really are some amazing people in this world

During the course of Thursday and Friday we waited on calls and updates from a number of people as to their arrival times.  Sadly one of the Phyllodes Team was unable to make it as her father passed away.   Secondly another Phyllodes Team member was too ill to make the journey.  And I’m quite sure there were many others unable to make the journey or for other reasons to miss out on such a wonderful conference.  BUT Jen, an old partying friend of mine from my London days was, on Thursday, told her flights were cancelled from New York City due to snow.  Her hubby was then going to drive her on Friday to Newark airport (a mere 10 hour round trip).  But on the way to Newark they discovered that all flights were cancelled from there too.  I think he knew just how important this trip was for Jen (and selfishly for me too) and simply said ‘well that’s it, we’re driving to Atlanta’… and he did – 996 miles each way!  Jen too has breast cancer and has undergone extensive surgeries, chemotherapy and reconstruction and like so many of us young women has been hit hard by the whys and whats and wheres of this dreadful disease.  Personally for me, it was great to spend time with Jen (although next time we’ll use a better reason) and also something so simple – to have someone with me at the conference who knew me BC (before cancer) whereas everyone else knew mebecause of the cancer.

So at 2am there was a little scratching at the hotel door and another of my oldest bezzie mates was waiting there –  Hug time!  After a quick catch up we both fell asleep ready for our busy day ahead – Saturday is the longest and fullest programme of events and we were both eager to attend as much as possible.

8am – Registering and Lei’ing Jen – After completing the registration formalities and ensuring that Jen had the correct Lei, we wandered through to the networking area, grabbing a quick breakfast bite and introducing Jen to my lovely Phyllodes Team.  It was truly wonderful to have such a welcoming group and our group continued to welcome new friends into it all weekend.

8.30 – Welcome and Opening Remarks – Three speakers from Living Beyond Breast CancerSusan G Komen for the Cure and Young Survival Coalition took to the stand to welcome all participants and provide some insight into the weekend ahead, facts and figures about the conference.  This was the 10th year that the conference has been held and the numbers get bigger every year.  It also truly felt that the conference content was, in part, driven by the changing needs of the participants and ideas given to the organisers by the participants.

8.50 & 10.45 – Marking the Milestone : Sharing a Conference Story – The main seminars had small intervals where short stories were shared by survivors, predominantly about their journey but in some cases starting with the loss of sisters or mothers.  These stories were enlightening and real.  They were also a source of comfort and heartbreak, laughter and tears but always positive and motivational.

9am – Plenary Session One: Medical Update for Young Women – Julie R Gralow, MD

Julie presented to us on facts, figures, clinical trials, prognosis, improvements in the health service and soooo much more.  Although a tough presentation packed with information about breast cancer (not Phyllodes) I felt better educated and more assured that so much is being done to fight this disease.  All the time the odds are improving and the critical time for any recurrence or illness being pushed further away.  Technology is assisting in earlier diagnosis and good drug testing and better medical practices making surgery and treatment easier and better for the patient.

Below are a few links to some of the resulting clinical trials and references to information that is still referred to.  In particular in the US breast cancer patients are tested for dx21 recurrance assay (although not in the UK, as far as I’m aware).  The information also advised, what we probably already knew, about a low fat diet, weight loss and healthy living assisting in reducing any further recurrence.  In addition reference to increasing your vitamin D intake and ensuring that you take some level of physical activity after diagnosis.

The Oncotype DX Assay Process

Survival analyses from the Women’s Intervention Nutrition Study (WINS) evaluating dietary fat reduction and breast cancer outcome

 

Frequency of vitamin D (Vit D) deficiency at breast cancer (BC) diagnosis and association with risk of distant recurrence and death in a prospective cohort study of T1-3, N0-1, M0 BC

Physical activity and survival after breast cancer diagnosis.

10:50 – Plenary Session Two : Young Women with Breast Cancer : Living Fully is the Best Revenge – Julia H Rowland

Julia asked questions in her presentation and then when I thought there were no answers, just questions, she said more and my answers fell into my head.

  • Who are survivors?
  • What does research tell us about life after breast cancer?
  • What are implications of a breast cancer survivor’s future?
  • We are whole people.  Cancer affects the whole body not just the body part!
  • Counselling and psychosocial affects family, partners and carers also!

 

Cancer Care for the whole patient – Institute of medicine of the National Academics

20-30% of women treated for breast cancer have depressive symptoms within 5 years post treatment.  It’s not unusual to feel loss/depressed quite some time after others may feel it’s all over.

There has always been a belief that there is a link between stress and cancer.. so try some of the below to manage your stress:

  • Yoga
  • Relaxation training
  • Breathing techniques
  • Meditation
  • Guided imagery
  • Distraction techniques

 

Disease free does not mean you are free of the disease.  There is so much more to cancer than the surgeries and treatment. 

Persistent affects:

  • Physical/medical
  • Psychological
  • Social
  • Existential and spiritual issues

Late and delayed effects:

  • Recurrence
  • Cardiac

Planning for recovery is important… plan for it

For every day since your diagnosis, allow as many days to recovery.

Ask your oncologist/medical team to provide you with:

  • Treatment summary
  • Care plan (follow-up)
  • Survivorship care plan

National Cancer Institute – Facing Forward, life after cancer treatment

 

 

How do you make sense of it?

  • Find the benefit of any situation.
  • Listen to your self.
  • Laugh.

National Cancer Institute website pages which have an enormous amount of information for patients and survivors… http://survivorship.cancer.gov

What are my dates?  Count your survivor date from the date of your diagnosis.

If you ever wondered why this disease affects some people or need a reason to believe that everything happens for a reason, I think back to when I was first diagnosed and when I first had surgery, lots of friends and colleagues justified it to me by say that things like this only happen to those of us strong enough to take it, I never really understood what that meant and sometimes felt quite sad that strong people would have to suffer more than anyone else… however…

“Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water” Eleanor Roosevelt

My word, I’ve been in hot water and I’m feeling strong… bring me a cup of builders tea!

12.15 – Lunch and Learn.  Introduction by Marcia Stein, Young Survival Coalition.

Taking Your Voice to the Next Level – Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz.   Wow what a totally inspriration and motivational lady.  I can so see why she made it in politics and gets things done.  We were told of new and changing laws in the US relating to sickness, financial aspects and care.  We also heard Congresswoman Wasserman Schultz’s own journey with breast cancer and how she kept her diagnosis quiet from Congress so that she would be taken seriously as a politician whilst she changed the rules.. and wow she’s done that and has so much more in the pipeline.  Gosh if you’re reading this from the US and want changes or want to know what/who to support – this is your lady!  (and I don’t even vote!).

And the main bill she’s involved in is The Early Act.

1.45 – Workshop Session Two – Your New Normal: Navigating Your Emotions Julia H Rowland.

There was lots within this workshop but for me, I found I came away with another question answered. 

The person you were has gone.  Acknowledge it and find your new normal.

What this really meant to me is that I, like so many others, have wondered when my life is going to go back to normal.  Why I can’t suddenly remember what it was like before cancer.  Why my outlook on life has changed.  But the answer is simple and staring me in the face – nothing can be the same when you are made to consider the end of life.   Once that reality is faced, you can start planning a future – it may be different, every day may be brighter or more special because you’d never thought that you might not live it until cancer; you can use every experience for good and you can look on trivial problems and wonder why before they would have worried you.  Remember you don’t need to sweat the small stuff anymore!   You can be positive about one thing – you’re stronger than you thought, you can smile and cherish life, love and your surroundings and you can bring sunshine to others.

4.30 – Workshop Session Three – Mindfulness Meditation – Michael J. Baime, MD  The Penn Program of Mindfullness

Mind over Cancer

Stress Management and Survival Anderson BL   (Psychologic Intervention Improves Survival for Breast Cancer Patients: A Randomized Clinical TrialAndersen BL, Yang H-C, Farrar WB, et al (Ohio State Univ, Columbus) Cancer 113:3450-3458, 2008§)

Dr Baime firstly talked to us about the possible links between stress and cancer and demonstrated using data from previous trials how he believes there is a link and that we can assist in our health plans by managing or reducing our stress levels.  He suggested many practical things that we should check/change such as ‘Do you have anyone you can rely on in your social network?’  Fix any gaps in your social network and help to reduce stress.  This is not only when times are difficult but at all times.  Are you able to ask for help when you need a small favour as well as a big favour?  Remember that all the little things add up, so help others and let others help you.

He reminded us that the body and mind work together and that we should consider them both as a whole being.  We often have a tendency to separate our thoughts from our actions but in reality they have a bearing on one another and should be managed as one.

Stress however can enhance function ie when you’re under pressure to get a task finished in time, the motivation of the looming deadline can enable you to finish the task.  However stress can also reduce function ie you don’t take time to consider your options and rush in to do something quickly or forget vital pieces of information because your stressed.

Stress and its management

Event **********CRASH********** Reaction

Often stress will increase the size of the crash in the above situation, but what we really need to do is create some space between the actions and pause.

Event ***S***P***A***C***E*** Reaction

He then went on to explain the importance of breathing, taking time for ourselves and taught us some simple meditation exercises which allowed us to relax. 

I can truly say that Trish and I floated out of this workshop!

6.00pm – Jen and I escaped the conference and headed out for dinner with Paul and Sue.  Atlanta may have been confused by our little band of people as we’d not all been together for 18 years and all had English accents!  We had a fab dinner in a little restaurant … I love the style of food in Atlanta, fresh, good food with a spicy southern twist!

9.00pm – Jen and I rejoined the Conference and Team Phyllodes for the 10th Anniversary Bash in the grand ballroom.  We stayed a while but were flagging fast, a full day of a lot of emotions, giggles and enthusiasm and snuck off to bed at about 11pm… although some were seen singing karaoke at 5am in town!!! J

What struck me more than anything in the talks and workshops today and with the survivors I’ve met so far, is that we’re all positive and we all know how to look at our situation and find it funny.  You wonder how but each and every person has a story about their cancer and you laugh with them… really laugh.  I know the NHS are running pilot schemes about the advantages of laughter therapy and I also know that if the NHS’s decision makers spent a few minutes looking around and listening to those attending and speaking at the conference, they would truly truly find the investment in this program.  So yes, finally I do get the joke my ex-colleague posted whilst I was having surgery on my right boob – “I do feel like a right tit”!

These ladies are awesome!

If you can imagine always being told that you’ve a rare cancer and you’ve struggled finding anyone with the same thing in the country you live in or information to hand about the best course of treatment or the future prognosis… but then going from feeling isolated to meeting people online but wanting to chat easily about Phyllodes or hug someone who’s in the same boat and THEN being at this Conference with people who are also the same as you with the same rare cancer who laugh in the same way (mostly at Phyllodes 😉 ) and are real and inspiring and alive.

In 30 minutes we start the first of the sessions of the Conference… Agenda

Midday and Team Phyllodes met in the hotel lobby and headed eagerly downstairs to register and discover what the Conference was all about.  After completing the inevitable paperwork, we were presented with a bag of Conference goodies… you know a huge bag of books, advertisements, guides and gifts from exhibitors – a mightily heavy bundle it was too (sort of ironic since many attendees would have been advised not to carry heavy bags around!).   

We then “lei’d” each other with the appropriate coloured lei to celebrate our survivorship.   

White: Diagnosis less than 1 year ago; Green: Diagnosis 1-5 years ago; Purple: Diagnosis 6-9 years ago; Pink: Diagnosis 10 years ago or longer; Orange: Diagnosed with advanced (metastatic) breast cancer; Red: At high risk; Yellow: Caregiver, family member or friend; Blue: Healthcare professional.

This simple colour coding helped us all identify where our fellow survivors were in their journey but also symbolically enabled us to feel part of a much larger support network.

Next was a tour of the Exhibitors Hall.  The Hall was filled with charities, support network organisations, research companies and hospitals etc together with corporate exhibitors who sell critical products and provide services to breast cancer survivors such as wigs, cosmetics, underwear, lymphedema sleeves, books  and also promotional fund raising goods.  During the weekend, I wandered through the Hall many times asking questions of exhibitors, picking up leaflets and information and learning so much by also listening to others asking questions and receiving answers.  Once again I was struck by the amount of support and advice available to survivors but also aware that this kind of information is perhaps difficult to source for those without the internet or access to this event in the US.

My first workshop was “We are What We Eat: Fight Cancer One Meal at a Time” presented by Shayna Komar and Chef Nancy Waldeck.    www.foodnews.org www.tasteandsavor.com www.livingandeatingwell.com

I thought I had an idea of healthy eating and I thought I knew how to cook healthily but golly I learnt heaps of good tips from this workshop.  So, I’m going to tell you it all (or as much as I can) and hope that some of this is useful to you in your everyday life or if you’re reading this as a cancer survivor, this may help you become even healthier to fight the little blighter! 

Weight loss  – I also learned (or perhaps had confirmed) that weight loss is important – a lot of women diagnosed with cancer are overweight… although it can’t be proven that we wouldn’t have had cancer in any event, I like to think that I can reduce my chances of a recurrence or metastases by reducing my weight – and have more energy into the bargain!

Low fat diet – A low fat diet has many health aspects but for those breast cancer survivors who are PR/ER negative, the medical teams have proven that there is a lower percentage of recurrence for those survivors who have a low fat diet.

Vegetable sprouts rather than the whole veg – ½ cup of the sprouting vegetable = 1.5 cups of whole veg, so try to choose young sprouting veg to get more nutritional benefit.

Reducing inflammation and increasing immune function:

Deeper the colour = higher antioxidant content. 

Quercin – found in red onion, cherries, citrus fruit, green tea and red grapes.

Allicin – Garlic contains a good source, so try to incorporate this every day.

Green Tea – Rather than drinking endless cups of green tea, you can cook your vegetables or pasta in green tea to increase your intake of this valuable antioxidant.  Also suggested anything cooked with water, add a little green tea!

Water – Drink lots to help flush your system.

Beta-Carotene rich foods – Add some of these to your diet weekly.  Good sources are carrots, sweet potato, squash, cantaloupe and mango.

Eat smaller mini meals – particularly when undergoing treatment of any kind… and make sure you include some fat ie avocado, nuts or olive oil.

Reduce – wheat, dairy and sugar

Power foods – Greens, Kale, Sprouts, Onions, Tomato, Pumpkin, Squash, Sweet Potato, Oils, Healthy Fat Fish, Berries, Beans, Garlic, Probiotics, Spices, Herbs, Tea, Cruciferous vegetables, fresh turmeric and fresh ginger – so if you’re feeling like you need some good stuff, try to include a few of these extra in your diet.

Cleanse – Drink lemon and ginger in hot water as an alternative to coffee or tea.

Chocolate – is GOOD for you!  Well a little bit and some chocolate.  Look at the label and choose only the chocolate with over 60% cocoa content.  Also be aware that any labelling mentioning ‘processed with alkali’ or ‘dutch processed’ means all the good stuff has gone from the bar, so avoid.  Also avoid if ‘sugar’ is listed before the cocao content… oh and just in case you get carried away, the antioxidant benefits are only if you have no more than 1oz a day!  But enjoy.

Nuts – Brazil nuts contain a good source of selenium, Almonds a good source of ‘good fat’ and Walnuts a good source of omega fatty acids.  All nutrients that help fight breast cancer, so if you want to nibble, nibble on one of these nuts!

Almond Butter – Instead of peanut butter or normal butter on your bread, use almond butter.

Almond Milk  – Make yourself some almond milk and use this in your cooking or with your porridge in the morning.

Greek Yoghurt – Good greek yoghurt is also a good source of protein – and you can get this in a low fat variety too!

Salt – Reduce your salt intake by sometimes swapping the salt (even in your cooking) for a little citrus zest… it tastes the same and is better for you!

Intensify flavours and goodness of some veg – Salt and stand water based vegetables such as tomatoes and cucumber.  Water will drain from the veg leaving you with a much more intense flavour in the veg but without losing any goodness.

Pomegranate molasses – Use a pomegranate molasses as a sweetener instead of any sugars.  I think in the UK this may only be attainable from health food shops and small specialist food stores but the benefits of pomegranate are huge and of course we’re also reducing our sugar intake!

Cinnamon – Add a pinch or so of cinnamon to your coffee/porridge etc – it’s good for you!

Soy – The controversial subject of soy.  If you’ve had soy in your diet your whole life, carry on and increase your intake a little.  However if like me, you’ve only dabbled with the odd bit of soy or you have a hormone related cancer, (with care) we’re advised to include no more than 3 soy foods per week to our diet.  Miso, edamame and tofu are fabulous sources.

Wine – Hmmmm I didn’t get quite the right answer I wanted… err look at the label and educate yourself about what you’re drinking and ask your oncologist!  Red wine is better than white but limited amounts…. errr 4-5oz glass per day.  L

So, how to do it:

  • Get in to the kitchen and cook
  • Read the labels when you’re in the supermarket
  • Get fresh food from markets or direct from the farm
  • Choose organic where possible however freshness must take precedence
  • Skip sugar and keep to natural sugars wherever possible
  • Enjoy the food and savour the tastes
  • Eat slower
  • Read up and take advice.   Some websites at the top of this entry too.

Nutritional Rules to Live by:

  1. Come back to earth and think about what you’re eating.
  2. Eat breakfast.
  3. Eat smaller portions.
  4. Stay hydrated.
  5. Include a lean protein to your diet (beans or nuts).
  6. Choose foods rich in fibre.
  7. Look at your food first and then add supplements to your diet, if needed and advised. 
  8. Talk to someone knowledgeable about integrating the right foods with any medication.
  9. Colour your plate… remember a good colouring means you’re getting different nutrients.
  10. Get rest.

I hope you find the above as interesting as I did… oh and there’s recipes and tips on their websites too.

Group Photo

Late afternoon we were gathered around the pool for the survivors’ group photos.  The first photo was for all survivors.  There were over 900 participants at the Conference – it still shocks me that there are so many of us affected by cancer and more to the point, that all attendees were ‘young’ ie under 45 years of age.  I know that so many people say that disease and illness doesn’t care about your age, sexuality or the colour of your skin but it sucks!  There were ‘children’ amongst us – teenage girls should be excited about their new buds growing and making them into beautiful young women, NOT finding out they have breast cancer.  BUT we stood, side by side, giggling and laughing, shuffling into position, supporting each other and chatting amongst ourselves whilst those of us in the front row also tried desperately not to fall into the pool! 

There was also an ‘international attendee’ photograph taken.  I represented the UK whilst 7 others made up the international group from Brazil, Germany, Turkey and Canada.

Hard Rock Cafe

We decided to head out to the Hard Rock Cafe for a drink before joining another 85 participants for dinner at the Hard Rock.  Team Phyllodes (and honorary guests) tucked into a cocktail or two and before long we needed dinner…. and the other 85 or so weren’t yet there!  Ooops we dined in our group – hey the prosthetic boob had been bought out and the wigs were off – much to the sniggers of our group and horror of other drinkers, we needed to eat!  You know what though, the horrorified looks came from a group of balding men behind us when a wig was removed… well that was until we pointed out that at least our sista’s hair would grow back!  OK so we all ended up friends in the bar but for a few seconds I realised that you really can embarrass an American man!

PJ Party with Pure Romance

Yes you read correctly, a pyjama party with adult toys!  Here goes, I may as well shock you all a little more… first I mentioned the C word out LOUD (errr that’s Cancer!) and now I’ve mentioned adult toys! 

We all got changed into our nightwear (me in an all-in-one) sleepsuit that I’d had made with my cancer forum name on it) and went downstairs to one of the bigger conference rooms.  For many this may seem trite and silly but by having a good ‘slightly outrageous’ fun time hosted by Pure Romance on the stage, many attendees were able to talk freely about the side affects of chemo, radiation and surgery on their young bodies.  Imagine going through or being post-menopause at the age of 24. Imagine a relationship where you don’t want to be seen or feel inadequate due to the side affects.  Although most survivors need intimacy more than the sexual act itself, it’s often hard to communicate this to partners and some relationships are strained or breakdown because of this. 

By making light of the situation, giggling and laughing with fellow survivors and understanding that actually what you’re going through is quite normal.  There ARE ways of moving forward and retaining that intimacy by finding a way to talk, feel and also by using products and toys..  but without any prudishness.   Hey and it’s not all about the man having to have be an owner operator for a long while!

I’ll leave you, for today, with a quote from the Conference that sums up just how much attending this Conference and being with fellow survivors (in particular Jenny and Team Phyllodes) has meant to me…

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember… you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think… but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you”  (Winnie the Pooh).

Ahem

I’m not sure if it’s jetlag or the final bottle of wine that I shared with, my long-lost bezzie mate, Paul last night but I’m having difficulty getting out of bed.

Paul (who lives in Atlanta) collected me from the airport (which if you’ve even flown through ATL you’ll understand is a ‘mare for security) and after checking in and dumping my bags we headed out for dinner. In ATL time, I was back home and in bed by 11pm… err however it was 6am UK time – hey maybe we were just remembering the ‘good old days’ when we used to party!

Most of the attendees arrived late afternoon and I have shopping to do (for others!) so headed out into Atlanta and brave as brave can be took their version of the metro uptown to a huge shopping mall. Hey in the UK we think Westfield is big! Successful shopping mission (for others!) and managed to find my way home too… she’s goooood!

Three of my Phyllodes sisters arrived in the afternoon and we met up for dinner. I can’t tell you how truly wonderful it is to meet some of the ladies who really got me through some rough times, albeit over the internet. It was wonderful to give them a hug and then over dinner for all of us to talk frankly about our experiences, how and what we’ve discovered about Phyllodes and managed operations, treatments and metastases. But the most important part is just that we’re all so positive and upbeat about life and living it… oh boy we laughed lots last night. Another of my sisters arrived late last night and joined us for a final drink before crashing in my room.

Enroute

I’m surprised at how badly I slept last night. I’m obviously more anxious about this trip than I’m letting on… even to myself!

There’s been such a lot of expectation, by me, about the Conference, to answer questions, get reassurances, share and listen to survivors’ stories, learn more about living with cancer and attending workshops and seminars.

For me, I want to learn a million things but the main few are:

  • How to realise I have a future and not just plan for the now.
  • How to feel comfortable with my new body image and feel that although I look different and am scarred that I can accept the new me… and maybe one day be able to be OK with a new partner seeing me too.
  • How to use my experiences to help others without dwelling on my personal issues.
  • How to eat better and be healthier and use natural foods to manage and keep cancer away.
  • How to be an inspiration to others both in my attitude, outgoing and learnings.

I’m also acutely aware at how incredibly blessed I am to have been able to attend this Conference. From learning about it’s existence via new and wonderful Phyllodes sisters that I’ve met online, to friends’ assistance with the cost of the trip, to the support from so many known and unknown people who read my journey online and send supportive messages.

I believe that I’m the only attendee from the UK – they’ll be able to spot me, I’ll be the only one thinking its summer and behaving with a little British reserve (NOT)!

I’m also aware that this sort of event sets out (although I may revise that after attending) to be an invaluable meeting for survivors of breast cancers, allowing us to be at ease with our queries, questions and concerns and share our learnings with others who have or are going through the same things. Suddenly, we’re not alone any more – and I truly can’t express how much that simple statement means.

It would be incredible if we could make this event accessible to all… wherever they live geographically… but cost of travel and accommodation are often prohibitive… BUT right now, I’m fired up to believe that this sort of event to be hosted in the UK or Europe would be amazing and I’d love love love to be part of, or instrumental in, organising this event in the UK. I know that there’s a need for it… so who’s going to help me do it?

3 days to go

I wonder if I’m placing too much emphasis in finding the answers at the Conference? My mind wanders off to a place that tells me that US manages Phyllodes in a completely different way to my experience in the UK. Will my attendance in fact confuse me further about my medical and diagnosis prognosis? But perhaps there will be some clarity. And will I feel able to ask the questions that I have without feeling daft? Ooooh help!

4 days to go until the Conference

It’s with trepidation and excitement that I write this quick update. Only 4 days to go until the start of the Conference in Atlanta and, apart from the long flight to the US, I’m so looking forward to the Conference. I’m looking forward to meeting and having a hug with the Phyllodes ladies that have been such a strength and inspiration to me over the past few months. I’m looking forward to meeting up with a couple of old friends, one who lives in Atlanta and another who will be attending the Conference too. I’m looking forwad to learning so much more from others about managing their lives and moving on. I’m looking forward to the Conference for soooo many different reasons.

As you know from my story, I still have so many questions that I think about often, to do with being a survivor of Cancer and someone that hasn’t been told that I’ve got the all clear or someone who doesn’t know what her future holds – or whether she has a future. Last weekend I attended an NLP conference and one of the ‘tasks’ that we did early in the weekend was setting goals in our future – I went from my ‘relatively’ usual positive stance to someone that questioned if she had a future and when using an NLP technique could see only a black space when attempting to see into her future.

This affected me hugely and I nearly turned round and came home writing it off as a bad job.. but I didn’t. By the end of the weekend, I was able to see a future and importantly, a future that was positive, healthy, wealthy, fun and something to run towards and embrace. This was even when the pain was quite painful during the weekend… it always seems worst when I’m tired, cold or doing too much and the Conference was, as it should be, full-on!

So here goes… I DO have lots of questions and I DO have concerns about what I look like now and I DO wonder how I would handle a mastectomy, should the Phyllodes return… but what I do know is that if I attend the Conference and am ferociously curious about meeting people and learning from experiences, advice and attitude, I can draw only positives from my attendance and flourish from all that I am part of in this journey.