Friends, family and support

Today should be dedicated to you.. all of you who have supported me and held my hand or given me a hug (virtually or in person) through my journey so far.  Lest I not forget that you have all played your part in keeping me sane (or as sane I could possibly be) and looking for the positive in everything… THANK YOU!

I have received such wonderful messages, texts, emails, facebook postings, telephone calls, linkedin messages and through this site with notes of support.  Nigel getting up at ridiculous o’clock to take me to the hospital for each operation.  Millie and her family for providing me with a recuperation home, chauffeur for appointments and family to play rummikub with to occupy my mind.  My own family who have supported me and my brothers who have looked after Mum’s affairs when I haven’t been able to help.  I’ve also felt the love, energy and positive vibes coming at me from all angles around the world.  I’ve also been lucky enough to receive flowers, cards and gifts (those of you who have been able to track my physical location down!).  I loved receiving a Percy Pig hamper (those of you who’ve known me from my Pig Pen days appreciate my obsession) and today a gift which made me cry with the thought and love put into it’s giving.  I was told to wait by the door for the postie to arrive.  I did and the postie had bought me a parcel…  Upon opening the box, I found another box.  Upon opening that box, I found yet another box.  And then attached to a digital photo frame a post-it note which said “Plug in… Switch On… Enjoy! xxx love you!! xxx” and then started with the first frame “We Anna” and then lots and lots of photos of me and my beautiful friends doing fun, daft stuff together… Thank you, thank you, thank you Toby, Vix, Kev, Heleen, Nigel, Marney, Ian, Jess, Rob, Hannah, Darren, Maria and, of course, Christin, Oscar and Dexter too.  I’ll be back soon guys and there’ll be heaps more crazy shots to take, I promise.

I am incredibly thankful for you all.

Test results (de ja vu)

Antibiotics have done their stuff and the infection has nearly all gone (evil side affects though!)   Leaving shortly to get through the roadworks to the hospital in good time for our appointment at 2pm with the consultant.  I’m feeling quite positive about it though (which is good) as, apart from the blip with the infection, I felt good straight after the last excision and have had no more shooting pains since.  I don’t know but my money would be on the blighter having growing pains.

Fingers crossed and I’ll update you later…  Put that champagne on ice.

Update – We’ve seen the consultant and I’m finally out of detention(ish).  He confirmed that he was happy that he had now removed the entire phyllodes tumour AND got a sufficient CLEAR margin.  He’s referring me to the radiationtherapy unit who are based at a different hospital to talk about available follow up treatment.

There are two very different schools of thought about the necessity of this additional treatment – essentially because there isn’t enough data to be examined or clinical trials run upon which to rely!  However I have taken the time to review a lot of medical journals and articles (as I am sure he and the team have) particularly the following reports from which I have extracted part of their ‘conclusions’.  The report written by Richard J Barth in the Annals of Surgical Oncology (2009) 16:2288-2294 – “Margin-negative resection combined with adjuvant radiotherapy is very effective therapy for local control of borderline and malignant phyllodes tumors.  The local recurrence rate with adjuvant radiotherapy was significantly less than that observed in reported patients treated with margin-negative resection alone.” and the European Society of Therapeutic and Oncology October 2004 – “While benign tumors have a good prognosis after surgery alone, adjuvant RT is recommended in the management of malignant and borderline tumors.”

Given the above reports (together with other reports I have seen) I am hoping that the radiationtherapy will be given – sounds totally weird to say ‘hoping’ but I really don’t want to do this all again and have more Thursday surgery!  I’ve pretty much worked my way through the hospital’s thursday evening meals and not sure my tum can cope with a repeat of any of them!

BUT (and there had to be one, well actually two BUTS to the above good news)… the full histology report isn’t yet back.  The reason this is important is two-fold.  Firstly that I can be totally happy that they really have got the whole phyllodes tumour and any ickle sneaky tenticles too (although they seem confident of this with the part report they have).  Secondly, they discovered a really incy wincy (my words not the consultants), pre-cancerous DCIS.  The consultant made the valid point that in recent years there have been lots more of these DCIS’ found but they believe this to be due to the new technology rather than an increase in them existing.  He also said that had we not had to just go through everything with my phyllodes tumour, I might never have known nor needed to know as it could exist without ever turning invasive, but that there’s always a risk.  Explanation as to what a DCIS is – Macmillan – DCIS.  Yes they did laugh at me once again being individual and different ie having both types – I like to think of it as being ‘unique’!

The team, consultant, Macmillan nurses, oncologists etc etc are going to have a group discussion at their weekly meeting about me, my phyllodes tumour, possible chance of recurrence and in addition the DCIS on Tuesday following which they will call me to discuss further options.  They will prior to this meeting have the full histology report.  I however am, at this moment in time, quite calm about it and happy that I might never have known about it and that radiationtherapy may well nuke it at the same time, or indeed that they managed to cut out the whole DCIS with the phyllodes tumour and have obtained a clean margin on that as well.  Here’s hoping.

I’m also so very impressed with the honest approach that I received from the consultant and my Macmillan nurse and reassured that they are offering me the best possible advice and treatment but also allowing me to make informed choices about any next steps, be that more surgery or alternative treatments.  I also feel comforted that they will keep a very close surveillance on me over the next few years (in two months time and then every 6 months with MRIs, mammograms and ultrasounds) and then just annually, should nothing recur.  I have been incredibly lucky with the team that have been looking after me and intensely grateful for that assurance.

I’m very much looking forward a glass of champers to celebrate the good news that I got today… join me?

PS friends/family  I’ve not told Dad the last bit of this but only that they’re happy that they’ve got the phyllodes tumour and I will have radiationtherapy… just in case you’re in touch, please don’t tell him – he doesn’t need to worry any more!

Ouch

Brief update today as it hurts not to be curled up in a ball on my side… the lovely side affects of the antibiotics so have been kept awake by cramps and raging hot flushes all night – mmmm nice!  However the infection does seem to be disappating slightly (at midday) so they seem to be doing what they’re meant to do.

Tomorrow I get to go back to the hospital for the test results of the lump – hopefully will be saying they have got it all and clear margins and we can then work out what treatments required to reduce any recurrence.  They can also have a look at the infection!

Fed up

I’ve been so hugely positive about Op No. 2 and felt great afterwards.  All the shooting pains have gone away which makes me believe that they managed to remove the tumour and all the tentacle things.  The infection is really red, angy and sore and although it doesn’t appear to have spread further is making me feel really ill.  I’m waiting on instruction from my nurse as to what to do – presume antibiotics but hoping that just because the infection is from an op in hospital, I won’t need them via IV in hospital.  It’s a nice place and all that but I really really don’t want to spend any more nights there!  Feeling down and miz today.

Nurse advised referral to local GP asap.  The lovely Millie took me to her GP and after GP inspection which went ‘Wow, that’s hot…’ (a phrase that I like when people inspect my boob) but then went on to add ‘… – you need antibiotics’ (not a phrase I like to hear!), I am now the proud owner of some very fetching blue capsules – whoohoo I didn’t have blue in my arsenal of daily drugs!  You’ll be pleased to know that this GP had never heard of a malignant phyllodes tumour either!  We, my phyllodes sisters, are quite a special bunch of ladies!

Am truly not in a good place today, feel low, ouchy and generally pissed off that when I really thought that I was doing so well I just have to get an infection.  Still tomorrow’s another day – see/speak/blog you then.

Maybe too soon

Not such a great night’s sleep for no reason as I was feeling so well.  It appears that I have an infection as there is a red, hot patch… blitzing it with drugs and if no better tomorrow, perhaps a visit to get some antibiotics.  Bit sore and uncomfortable today… bugga!

I found another lady searching for information about this special type of tumour and the follow-up treatments available.  She mentioned a report that has been done in Denmark and I’m hoping to get a copy.  Although, as always, this may not be a proper clinical research due to the sample numbers being so low, it would be fantastic to have further medical info to reference.

Hmm infection definately there and slightly increased in size since this am.  Have left message at hospital as to what to do… just hope that if infection picked up in hospital they won’t want my company for a few days with IV antibiotics.  😦

Thanks Leon who finally had to make that old joke from Viz magazine… (was wondering who would be first!)… “I feel like a right tit”.  And thank heavens I still do 🙂

A revelation

I woke up early this morning with feeling amazingly chipper.  I think I’m either getting used to general anaesthetics or all the positive energy, support, prayers and love you all sent me worked – hey they should prescribe it all on the NHS.    If you could muster them again when I get my results at 2pm on Wednesday please!

Am excited about the new ‘icklier’ me, finally when they say in pilates classes, stand with your feet shoulder distance apart, I can see what they’re talking about!  OK so possible downsides to icklier boob – Jane will win the annual breast size contest when Mick’s in the UK and there will be less available for head resting after too many in the Opera Bar, Sydney but we’ll make it through!  🙂  Oh and I can start back at pilates classes… I haven’t been for months now and really missed it.

I can’t believe how much better I feel this time round.  Millie keeps asking if I really have had an operation at all as I’m up and about.  We even got to take Abi to gym classes and out for a coffee.  Not sure I could cope with driving through and those pesky seatbelts.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they had managed to get it all out and totally clear margins?  4 more sleeps and I will know.

Now… relax

After an anxious morning on the ward waiting for the endless visits from anaesthetics, consultants, nurses, breast cancer care team, physiotherapists and generally anyone else in the medical teams… or so it felt, I finally got discharged into Millie’s care by 1pm.

My first task when I got home was a quick wallow in a shallow bath to wash away the hospital.  A little shockingly I caught a glimpse of my reshaped self in the mirror.  Now I understand why the breast care nurse talked about the possibility of an operation in 3-6 months when ‘things have settled down’ to ‘even things up’.  Don’t misunderstand, I’m incredibly grateful that I still have a breast but was still a little shocked – I’m not sure any amount of mental preparation really works..

Next appointment on Wednesday 11/11/09 which I’m hopeful will confirm that we have clear margins and there’s no need for further removal.  In addition, future treatment/tests to discuss and schedule in.  I’m hoping (although it sounds weird to say ‘hoping’) that I can have radiotherapy and a lung scan.  Radiotherapy, it appears from the little clinical information available, may reduce the risk of reoccurence – which even if it reduces it by 1% has got to be worth it.

Op No. 2

Nigel collected me at 6.15am following a sleepless night and delivered me to the hospital in good time by 7am.  He didn’t however leave me at the main entrance this time, insisting that he stay with me for as long as possible – so I didn’t escape out of the back door or locate the fire escape!  Everything seemed so quick, visits from anaethesist, consultant, trainee doctors etc etc and before long I’m in the operating theatre having the canula inserted.  As per, I didn’t even get to count to 1 before I’m being woken up in the recovery room and back on the ward for elevenses.  Although I didn’t know what they had done, I did have a drain which meant that I knew there was a cavity – a tube is attached to ensure that blood and fluid that might build up in the cavity is drained away.  Ironically when I was for Op 1, I had been very smug about the fact that I hadn’t had a drain – serves me right this time round!

I managed to get a few hours sleep during the day which I was so very grateful as I had an incredibly uncomfortable night.  My drain was pulling on my wound and didn’t feel right at all, I had sharp pains in both breasts throughout the night and to add insult to injury ended up having an ultrasound at 1am as my tummy was bloated and a catheter finally being successfully inserted at 3am.  Not a great night and made slightly more anxious about whether I was going to be discharged tomorrow or need to spend a further night in hospital.

We were however in a prime spot for the fireworks and yours truly had a window-side bed, so a perfect view over London for Guy Fawkes night – at least a little compensation.

I truly hope this is the end of it and I don’t have to go through another operation… let’s hope the removed tissue shows clear margins.

OMG, it’s tomorrow

So much for prescription sleeping pills.. wide awake nice and early but it’s a gloriously autumnal day so shouldn’t grumble too much.  I just love it when the autumn colours are lit beautifully by sunshine and the air is cold and crisp.

I ‘published’ this site last night and told friends and family of its existence.  I’ve received such wonderful messages of support for the upcoming operation, enormous support for doing this site and acknowledgement about my honesty and openness in the content.  Thank you.  Sadly I’ve also learnt of friends around the world (who like me have been quiet and off the radar for a while) and who have been through or are going through treatment for breast and other cancers.  We’re all amazingly strong people and I’m sending my love and support to them also.  Right, now to work out what to pack for hospital and convalescence.

11.30am – The hospital have just called to say ‘be prompt, they want me to be first on the surgery list’… is that a good thing?  Think the consultant starts ops at 9am, so good thoughts and well vibes then please…

Am now installed at Millies, room looking georgous and comfortable (better than any 5* hotel!) and 12 hours to go until I leave for the hospital.

Will leave you now and update you when I’m back home – Facebookers, I’ll update you there via my mobile.  Gosh though I am soooo lucky to have such great support – if I could cash in all the fantastic messages, and bottle all the good vibes and energy, I would be the richest person alive.  Thank you.  xxx

Email to friends and family – “Me…”

“Hello All.

Some of you may know, others may have heard rumours about me, why I keep cancelling meet ups, am not in work etc etc, I’ve put a little story online…. I’m also hoping this will help others find answers or reach people to talk to that are affected this rare cancer, malignant phyllodes tumour. 

http://www.annawallace.co.uk

Look forward to being out partying soon… keep sending through the invites please!

Keep well and safe

Anna
Xxx”