A friend said to me at some point in this journey I would realise that not everyone makes it and that I’d find it hard everytime we lose a friend. Will I ever be able to explain it or understand it? Today I heard of a friend I met in Atlanta who passed away today. Lisa fought breast cancer bravely and with a smile on her face. I met her online before I went to Atlanta, she took the mickey out of me and my English ways! Lisa volunteered for a special job which was to make some ‘bling’ to attach to our name badges, as she thought she wasn’t going to make the conference and wanted to contribute. She did make the conference and I wore my ‘blinged badge’ with pride throughout the conference and have looked at often since I returned – it reminds me of someone who is full of life; Lisa.
Thank you all – Jolene
I’m soooo very pleased to report that Jolene is doing well. She’s out of ICU and in a private room. There’s lots of work yet to do, not least learning to walk again as the graft was taken from her hip. She’s been on highs and lows about what has happened but in a positive state of mind at the moment – as if Jolene was ever going to let Phyllodes get her! Thank you for keeping Jolene in your thoughts and prayers – a little bit more please.
Conference/Event
Ickle update – can’t tell you anything at the moment, but it’s coming along nicely… watch this space!
Will anyone ever understand Phyllodes?
When I was first diagnosed with a Phyllodes tumour, all the information I could find related to the tumours affecting the breast tissue. Indeed the association is that Cystosarcoma Phyllodes is a breast cancer – it isn’t it’s a soft tissue sarcoma. However there was always some comfort in the belief it was a breast cancer, surgeons know how to operate, support networks know how to relate, friends and family can compute what this means etc etc. And for me, I believed the ‘rumours’ that it would only ever be in my breast tissue and therefore could be treated surgically.
As you will know from posts earlier this year, my comfort blanket of information was shattered when a friend from the US (Lynda) passed away when a new Phyllodes tumour grew in her brain. My knowledge of phyllodes told me this was impossible but there was another part of me that knew that due to the rarity of Phyllodes, no one really knows.
This week another dear friend (again from the US and again whom I met in Atlanta) has had surgery to remove a Phyllodes tumour from her mouth. She has undergone an 8 hour surgery to her mouth and jaw. She has just been woken and has a tracheotomy and will remain in hospital for 10 days or more. She is unable to talk or walk and will be sent home with a feeding tube. All this for someone who is 24 years of age and was told when she first saw the doctor that she was too young to have cancer.
Jolene is an incredible lady who has endured so many surgeries, treatments, drugs and trials but somehow always manages to laugh or joke around – Jolene’s tumour humour is legendary! It’s rare that Jolene isn’t smiling broadly.
I tell you this for two reasons:
1/ Please keep Jolene in your thoughts and prayers. She’s a fighter and the first thing she did when she woke from the operation was to ‘give cancer the bird’. Feel free to shout out the war cry “Phuck Phyllodes“!
2/ The conference/event in London is for breast cancer survivors, not Phyllodes. However as the surgeries, support and emotional and physical affects are the same, I would love the conference to also be a source of new friendships and support networks for my fellow rare Phyllodes survivors. If it is at all possible, I also aim to have a keynote speaker at a workshop discussing Phyllodes.
I am reminded at times like this however that I’m blessed to have found such a wonderful support network of people affected by Phyllodes and whom support each other through our journeys. As you know they were so terribly important to me during my difficult times and I’m now able to help others through theirs. This website has been found whilst trawling the internet, by a number of newly diagnosed ladies and I’m so proud that I put it together to help, even just one. On the other hand I am always saddened when I receive an email from someone else newly diagnosed. The most common things I hear are that their doctors haven’t taken them seriously; have told them their too young to have cancer (sometimes sending them home previously); that Phyllodes isn’t Cancer; that they don’t know about Phyllodes; that they can wait for surgery despite the tumour’s quick growth; and more… Sadly the stories are often the same and incredibly hard to equate when newly diagnosed.
If you get the chance to ever mention Phyllodes, please do so… I’d love to think that sometime soon, someone will be newly diagnosed and hear the doctor say ‘I know about Phyllodes’.
Your new normal
I spoke in February of a workshop that I had attended in the US that had been open and frank about our ‘new normal’ and coming to terms with new body shape and surgery etc. The majority of the points made had crossed my mind and worried me, in some why or another. Some I’m yet to tackle but knowing that my concerns are not unique. If you have the time, do listen to the whole workshop, some of it may shock you but all of it is useful when you’re facing these concerns. It may also be useful for your partners or loved ones to listen to too so that they may understand what you’re unable to say. Thank you Lillie Shockney.
Wealth Dynamics Workshop
About 18 months ago I heard about Wealth Dynamics and wanted to learn more. At the time it was for self-improvement and understanding. So much has happened since then and my focus now is that the principles of Wealth Dynamics would be extremely useful in putting a team together to ensure the event takes place. I have always known that I’m not perfect 😉 and can’t do everything brilliantly but knowing when to step back and when to focus is essential. It is also imperative that I can identify different styles and mindsets in the people and organisations that I will be working with.
A month or so ago I heard that Topher Morrison was hosting a one day workshop in Norwich and I decided to go. Insightful and enlightening. Another bonus for me was that after lunch we played ‘opportunity knocks’ where we broke off into groups of 5 and presented our ‘goal’ to the group and also identified the ‘types’ of team players we needed to create our perfect team. Then we voted for the ‘best’ goal from the group. The winners then went to present to larger group and the winners from each larger group went through to the next heat until we were presenting to the whole delegate attendees. I’m quite proud to say that I won! What a fantastic experience. Presenting my goal to so many people. Getting feedback after each presentation about what worked and what didn’t work. Equally important was that with each presentation I was able to see the excitement in the group to my project and the belief that I really am doing truly so important and needed. A number of attendees spoke to me after the event endorsing their enthusiasm earlier.
I do have doubts about what I’m taking on particularly at the sheer magnitude of the tasks ahead. So it is a wonderful boost to hear words of encouragement and support and also to hear from others who have been diagnosed or come through surgeries of the importance of tackling some of the workshops and discussions that I’m intending to include at the event. So to those of you who have offered your skills and support – thank you.
Busier than a busy bee
Hellooo all. I’ll start with a quick apology – if you’re hoping to catch up with me whilst I’m ‘between jobs’ then I apologise… I’ve been busy! Call me, nag me, email me but bear with me when I have to squeeze you in!
So what have I been doing? My nephew came to stay for the weekend… he had worked out a Wii competition, croquet games and a visit to the cinema – exhausting but fun.
Searching, researching and networking – I’ve added and updated lots of areas of my notes for the project. I was lucky to be invited to attended a 2-day Macmillan Conference and found the experience incredibly enlightening as to what projects are underway, what projects are planned and also understanding what role Macmillan GPs and other practitioners play in obtaining the best ‘interactive’ service and support between oncology teams and patients. I am also hoping that some of the speakers may be involved in my Conference too, so you can all benefit from their wisdom, experience and positive approach too.
I also learned that both Macmillan and Breast Cancer Care have programs whereby cancer survivors can become ‘voices’. Both these roles allow patients to voice their opinions and participate in decisions and outcomes of how care and support services are provided. Invaluable and perhaps someting that you can do to ‘put something back’ in your areas. Having spoken to a number of Macmillan Voices, I’m also heartened that the hours required are not onerous and flexible so if you’re still undergoing treatment or have limited time, it may still work for you.
Right gotta dash.. off away again… catch ya later xxx
Scan results
Whooohooo after a little light lunch with some old friends, I went to the hospital to see my oncologist and get the results of my scan… which of course, was absolutely fine and a joy to see everyone!
Also, a girl on a mission, I was able to see my Macmillan nurse and tell her what I’m up to. She was wonderfully supportive and was able to confirm some of my ideas and also suggest some speakers and organisations to contact that I hadn’t got on my list… how brilliant!
Retirement(?)
So much for having a month off… I’m not quite sure I’ve worked out this ‘chilling out’ thing. I did manage the lady who lunches thing but also discussed the ins and outs of setting up a registered charity… I’m very lucky to have such informed friends and ones that offer their time and expertise when I need help. Also how great is it to be able to catch up with old friends and relax without the need to rush back to work. I might just need a little bit more sunshine before I head off onto the golf course though!
The next chapter
Gosh so much has happened since my last update… some scary… some exciting… but all positive and moving forward – now that’s got to be a good place!
I’ve been studying hard at NLP and a few days ago received my certification as a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Master Hypnosis, Advanced Subconscious Reprogramming, Master Results Coach and Performance Consultant. I’m excited that I shall be able to utilise a lot of my new skills in my next challenges and goals.
Today I left full time employment with a little sadness about leaving my colleagues and friends but pleased that I’ve handed it over to some wonderful and capable colleagues who will excel in their new roles. I’m also a little anxious about not having any regular income however believe wholeheartedly in my new project so know that money will come to cover my costs thereby enabling me to dedicate my time and energy to the project.
Soooo… what am I going to do? Well it’s simple really… There is going to be a conference/event in the UK/Europe for people affected by breast cancer…. and I’m going to make it happen. Exciting… Rewarding… Amazing… Challenging… I’m passionate about my goal and believe there’s a need and know that this will make the most incredible difference to so many – just as attending the YSC Conference in the US did for me. It changed my life and now I have changed other aspects of my life and created a position for myself where I can help others change theirs, positively.