Abdomen Ultrasound

Will this find out what’s going on?

Instructions for this appointment are that I needed to empty my bladder and hour and a half before my appointment and then refill it with 3 pints of water before my appointment… no more wees!  No eating 6 hours before either.  Ooooooh my, by the time my appointment was at 1pm, I was desperate for the loo and feeling a tad hungry!

The appointment was on time, quick and efficient.  I was pleased to hear that the ultrasonographer said I could go to the loo now and that the results would be sent through to my GP.

More waiting.


Hahaha don’t you just love hospital instructions!… I have more scans and one of my instructions is not to wear a corset!!

I hadn’t been thinking about wearing one but now the devil in me is sorely tempted!!!

OK so I didn’t but I did think about it! Here we go again, nervous once again just in case they find anything but also feeling like an old professional patient. 6-monthly checkup scans – this time only an ultrasound.

Boris Bikes, Bench and Bestest present

Quiet Christmas
Christmas day year was to be an individual affair. I had decided to make the most of a beautifully quiet Londontown.

This picture was taken of Wandsworth Common on Christmas Eve. Usually there are lots of children being walked or pushed around the common. People walking dogs in clusters of yummy mummys. Oh and the endless stream of people out jogging or working out with their personal trainers or even being put through their paces under the guidance of Military Fitness trainers. But today, just a few leaves blowing in the breeze and a couple of lucky seagulls seeking some food.


In the good old days, Sundays in central London were quiet and peaceful. You could walk through town without marauding crowds of shoppers. The pavements were your own and there was a silence in parts of London that is almost impossible to recreate in 2012. There was always something so wonderful about wrapping up warm and stomping through the streets of London on a blustery winter day, turning corners into little nooks of London that you’ve never taken the time to see before. Or on a rainy day, going out in wellies and spending the day jumping on and off pavements into puddles (much to the amusement of the rare passer-by). Now I suspect I’d be run over by the traffic or worse, locked up for splashing a passing car with my puddle-jumping!

So this Christmas Day I decided to attempt to recapture MY London. I wanted to spend some time at my bench in Berkeley Square and reflect on the year that’s been and the year to come. I wanted to discover yet more of London’s secrets. I wanted get lost in my own thoughts for the day whilst being surrounded by the splendour of London.

I headed into town and parked in Berkeley Square. Did I mention before how much I love this place? Truly, my perfect spot. Blissfully quieter than normal with only the odd ‘vroom’ of a taxi or Aston Martin zipping round the Square… but enough to add to the ambiance without disturbing my quiet. I was pleased to note that there were others enjoying the Square. A couple walking through, all dressed up and I suspect off to a grand Christmas luncheon somewhere. Another single gentleman of a certain age, sitting and contemplating. We nodded to one another a while later as he set off on his way.

After an hour or so I ventured in search of a Boris Bike rack. I thought it’d be a great time to attempt a Boris Bike in London. Less chance of killing myself or, indeed, taking out others on pavements, cyclepaths and roadways! It’s been a while since I’ve been on a bike, well more than a while actually.

I really hadn’t accounted for the others that had had a similar idea as I. I had to go to 3 different racks to find one with a bike for rent! You see, unlike the ‘way it was’, Christmas Day in Londontown was actually quite busy. Shops were even open. Not just coffee shops or restaurants but retail shops. I truly cannot put into words how disappointed I was to see them open. Surely there’s no need? Surely everyone has their Christmas shopping complete and tourists wouldn’t mind a quiet London and a day without shops for one day? 


However once I was in the saddle (so to speak), and on my way, I could lose the tourists. It was simple, I did what I do best – discover the little streets, the side alleys, the incy little places that in a sensible moment I shouldn’t venture in the dark… however it was daytime and a delight. I spent my journey with my nose in the air looking up at newly discovered buildings, new secrets, new windows, new architecture (all new to me but which had been there for centuries before).

London really is an awesome place when you get away from the tourists and the high street shops. It’s like an always giving gift, if only we took the time to open our eyes and look.

PS My bestest Christmas present was chosen and gifted by my nephew. When I spoke to him this morning and opened the present on the phone, he said it was so he could be with me all the time. I just love that boy x

Bench with Richard and Jason

Love love that friends visiting the UK over the Christmas season are sending me messages to meet up at my bench for bubbles.  I’m not sure quite what the offices workers in Berkeley Square think of this bird drinking bubbles at a Berkeley Square bench with so many people!

IMG_1171 IMG_1172Richard, Jason and bubbles at my bench!


After the months of symptoms, pain and bleeding followed by the long wait for a colonoscopy and then finally procedure itself, I’ve made an appointment with my GP to discuss what next.

It’s difficult to explain how frustrating this all is and how close to tears I am, so often at the moment.  Having constant pain, worry about unexplained bleeding and feeling nauseous continually is no fun.  Although I know it’s not as bad as so many people live with their whole lives, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to do anything.

My appointment with the GP today had me in tears.  I’m frustrated, angry at delays and worried.  As the bleeding is now not only from my bottom, they’re going to send me for an ultrasound of my abdomen to see if they can see anything there.

Colonoscopy results

It’s difficult for me to understand the NHS sometimes.  I had my colonoscopy in June.  It had been requested many months before as an urgent appointment.  The results of which are only today to be shared with me.

Some people wonder why I’ve been quite quiet for the past several months.  Why I’ve not felt like doing too much or straying too far from home.  The symptoms have continued and at times I’ve wondered if I should call and ambulance and go to A&E the pain has been so bad.

Today I saw the consultant to get the results.  After all the worrying about this appointment, it, of course, showed nothing.  On arrival at the appointment, he made me feel like I was wasting his time.  He then proceeded to sit there for five minutes (whilst I sat patiently by the desk) whilst he read  my notes.  He then asked me lots of questions as it would appear that he only had a little bit of my notes with no record of cancer!  When I told him, he spent a few more minutes returning to the scan result pictures, as if he was viewing it very differently to a ‘healthy’ patient.  This wasn’t giving me a great deal of confidence.

Anyway, shortly thereafter he dismissed me.  He informed me that there was nothing to worry about and to go home.  I reiterated that I was still experiencing the symptoms to which he informed me that it wasn’t due to my bowel.  Such empathy NOT!

Oh and just because I can… here’s a picture of my bowel!  Cool huh?


Bench with Tish

Another visit to my bench… this time to meet up with my lovely friend, Tish.

Sadly we couldn’t stay long as it was so cold and Tish finds the cold during treatment too much.. quite rightly really!  We toasted our lovely friend Kerry with pink bubbles… only sorry that Kerry is no longer here to join us ;-(

IMG_1122 IMG_1124We did then wander away and find a superb Italian cafe to purchase some delicious hot coffees!

Birthday bubbles on my bench

A friend I’d met on my trip to La Manga for Joanna Hall retreat came to visit.  We then met up with another friend, Maria, for a wonderful Italian meal at a Balham restaurant.

This morning, Elizabeth suggested that we celebrate my birthday with a breakfast picnic and bubbles at my bench in Berkeley Square.

Loved it… so loving having my bench that I can share with so many friends.

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